“When you fail to achieve something, don’t quickly feel frustrated.” -Lucky, Life Talks with Kuya Lucky
I was in the middle of researching contents to revamp both of the blog site and the podcast, then bumped into this same old question because of a personal shenanigans I experienced today– “Am I enough?”. That simply question escalated quickly to worry and then the overthinker in me, unfortunately, chose to occupy my brain with all the negative possibilities of a certain scenario—specifically the one that I just experienced.
Maybe if I had this same feeling or emotions last year, I would have cried so much and would have to choose taking these worries to bed. (Special thanks to all the cup of coffees and pastries that accompanied me through those low times!!)
Anyway, the saying goes, “the same me, but different priorities”. It’s still me–the overthinker, the anxious, the person who tends to self sabotage but my priority definitely changed this time. I now value my peace of mind rather than thinking what others would comment on something about me or my life decisions. This time around, I have stronger foundation on where I get my strength, my true identity and a better motivation to choose the right decisions but also not neglecting myself.
Definitely not the same case with everyone. I know and I completely understand. I guess this is the purpose of this entry—to at least help you understand or deal with that “feeling” and remind you that it’s perfectly normal to feel that way. Being healthy at least mentally does not mean ignoring your emotions— you’re just human, duh.
In the podcast episode I recorded with Lucky, we both realized that feeling of being not enough or you’re seeing yourself as a fraud is rampant. Lots of our friends for sure feel the same way but can’t find a way to describe it.
This is actually called “Imposter Syndrome”. Others would call it, Imposter Phenomenon or perceived fraudulence. People experiencing this syndrome tend to say:
“I don’t deserve this.”
“I’m a total fraud, they’ll hate me once they find out.”
“I’m not capable of doing this, I’m a failure.”
You can listen to the full episode here:
How I combat this syndrome?
Studies and articles I’ve read related to this denied that it’s linked to depression but it does not mean, it’s not valid. For me personally, this phenomenon is common and we battle it most of our days but since we do have different backgrounds and traumas, some handled it better than the others.
The way I combat this lately is simply allowing myself to savor the emotion (doubt, anger, fear and etc). Then, remind yourself the achievements you have accomplished and the areas you did great. You can list it down on a piece of paper or keep track of it using online note apps. It can be difficult to shrug this feeling off but worrying it too much would make it feel heavier. Deal what you can deal just today and worry the rest tomorrow!
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34